SelfDestruction and Observation
by Lily Luna Longbottom
Summary: Not a story, just a question. What if everything was different? What if James Potter was no longer an arrogant toe-rag and Lily Evans was no longer the perfect prefect? Warnings: Kind of character death...


_A/N: I, personally, think that this is a little confusing so don't feel bad if you don't understand it. It's just something I kind of came up with. It's not really a story, just a list of possibilities, what-ifs. I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to review. :)_

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to my idol, JK Rowling, not me._**

James Potter was an insufferable git. He was an egotistical, slimy, bullying, good-for-nothing toe- rag. He would rather play pranks than go to class and Lily Evans would rather kiss the Giant Squid than him.

Lily Evans, on the other hand, is smart, pretty, kind and confident, but not overly. She would rather do her Charms homework than go to a quidditch game and James Potter says he is totally in love with her, but she knows that it's just an act.

Lily Evans is wonderful and James Potter is awful. That's just the way it is.

But what would happen if Lily Evans happened to walk into the common room late at night to find James Potter crying? What if his parents and his nine year old sister had just been murdered by Voldemort? What if she turned around, walked out and pretended she didn't see anything because, what if James Potter being James Potter made Lily Evans, Lily Evans?

What if Lily Evans couldn't let James Potter care, because if he cared, what would she do? She was the one who cared and he was the one without a care in the world. But what if his family's death broke him? What if he could do nothing but walk through the halls, looking as though he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and care? What if he cared about his family and his grades and his friends and the war? What if he cared about Lily Evans?

What if James Potter cared so much that he stopped eating, stopped speaking to his friends, stopped sleeping? What if he cared so much he sat up all night crying away his broken heart and broken dreams? What if no one knew, no one except his best friends, who he wouldn't speak to, and Lily Evans?

But what if Lily Evans kept pretending nothing was wrong, because if James Potter wasn't an insufferable git, than what as he? And if Lily Evans didn't know what James Potter was, than did she know what she was? After all, Lily Evans was wonderful and James Potter was awful, that's just the way it was.

But what if James Potter's not so awful anymore and Lily Evans is not so wonderful? What if James Potter is tearing himself down, crumbling and not letting anyone help him? What if Lily Evans is standing in his wake, watching him fall, and not doing anything about it?

What if one day, after months of self destruction and observation, Remus, a mutual friend of Lily and James told Lily that James Potter was missing? What if no one knew where he was, not even the teachers? What if Lily Evans found James Potter? What if she found him, lying at the bottom of the astronomy tower? What he was broken and bloodied and not breathing? What if he was dead?

What if there was a note? What if it said _I'm sorry, I can't fight anymore, tell Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot that I love them?_ But what if after that it said_ Tell Lily I love her and that I always have?_ What if at that moment Lily felt her heart break?

What if Lily Evans died two years later fighting in the war? What if Harry James Potter was never born? What if Lord Voldemort was never destroyed? What if, while you were reading this, outside your house, muggles and muggle-borns alike were being killed by the hundreds? What if all the what-ifs weren't, just that, what-ifs? What if they were true?

_A/N: What?Two Author's Notes? Yeah, It's my story, I can do whatever I want. Anyway this one is just another reminder to review. So review if you liked it, review if you didn't. Just tell me what you think. And if you can't think of anything to say, tell me what your favourite band to listen to while your writing is. Personally, I like to listen to Marianas Trench. _


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